slow it down

well if this was week one here in silver city, it feels like week four. to be fair, i have been here 10 days; but to be honest, its like, uh... been a lifetime already.
"turning a new leaf" isn't it at all. its not like something "new" or even could be called a "beginning". really, moving to silver city has been a seamless transition that has felt all too good and too well... if such things can really be in excess.
no, living in silver city is like being exactly where i needed to be all along. its like my heart had found its home here long before my person arrived in my subaru two fridays ago. i have always known my soul lives in mountains, colorado taught me to appreciate that. but then there is this interesting piece about me where lately i had been threatening my friends and family that i was going to live in a hippie commune in the mountains, growing my own fruit and vegetables, raising goats and chickens, and knitting by a wood-stove. now that i am here in silver city i can see that reality projected all around me. what was an illusive threat is actually a very reasonable reality here in silver. these things happen, and, i would not be surprised if the majority of folks from this town have shared in such experiences themselves in this lifetime, and more likely, it is their day-to-day existence.

what i can say for certain is that that this place is real, more real to me than i had expected. its been like living in a constant state of self-awareness...

which brings me to my point: slow it down.

life is often confused with some sort of rat-race, social climbing gig, that in the end, is no fun, leaves you empty handed, and maybe even empty hearted. i decided when i left the big-cat (because in the city its cats that run around killing rats) race of d.c. that that was not for me (i already knew that before, i just needed a big smack on the head as a reminder).
no, i am in it for the glorious moments of silence. for the sunsets. see below.

photos taken from a snowy (!) hike up boston hill for yet another amazing sunset.

how could you not think that life is about nothing but silence on top of a mountain at dusk?

and so i have begun to understand slowing it down. living for the silence. listening, not speaking. taking it in. being overwhelmed... in a good way. seeing, being, believing. i believe that this life is about all of the above, the experience of it all, and the way we shape and shift our being accordingly.

and so when someone asks me, "do you miss home yet?" i think, "how could i?" and i answer to myself, "but i am home, it just took me a while to get here."

silver lining

soo i made it!

sock monkey and i at the new mexico border (we took the scenic route)

i successfully conquered the midwest, was not killed by tornadoes, duststorms, or blizzards, nor mugged, robbed, or run-off the road by a tractor trailer. i cannot say that i really had any real 'hitches'... except for my AAA tow from middle-of-no-where southern colorado (somewhere in the desert between co springs and pueblo), no pun intended. all in all, my one car-incident was minor, after the tow, i was able to get a free examination at jiffy lube, who determined the cost of my car's blown radiator cap (and thus, the problematic release of all of my car's radiator fluid onto I-25) was a mere $6.00. so there, there is a god.

driving into the black mountains, nm

but why am i focusing on the one bad thing, when SO MUCH GOOD has happened on this trip? there is no good place to begin, nor really a good telling of an end of this joyful story of happenstance adventures. highlights: driving through the mountains of west virginia after a fresh snowfall; meeting my godmother for the first time in st. louis; running through forest park in st. louis; gaining appreciation (if not becoming converted) for KU basketball from mamma mahlburg; becoming intoxicated (maybe hallucinatory) by the vast skies of kansas; seeing how well 4-wheel drive really works in colorado snow; a quick foray into my past-life as a denverite--including trips to my favorite neighborhood, washington park, lovely visits with my best friends, snowshoeing in RMNP, and a memorable dinner at city-o-city; waking up to another beautiful morning on sunrise lane with my family in boulder; crossing the new mexico state line; driving through scenic taos and sante-fe (yay for canyons and mountain passes!); trail-running along the sandinas outside alburquerque at embudo canyon; devouring a "christmas" chile burrito; driving through the desert and seeing many a tumbleweed as i harnessed my car's horsepower amidst 40 mph winds; winding through gila national forest at sunset, and seeing the sunset four times as i ascended to higher-living in silver city.

view from the snowshoe trail at wild basin, rocky mountain national park

view of gila national forest from emory pass

here, in silver city, life is made up of nothing but the simplest joys. to imagine a life where you might spend your days in the high desert, hiking, biking, art-making, gardening, and just loving on this earth is what i have appreciated from the mindsets of those whom i have met sofar in silver city.

the chino mine, seen from gomez peak

in silver city it is not unusual to plan your day around hikes and bike-rides, schedule sunset-appreciation daily, hear music from random corners of town, read articles on yogic lessons for the common-man in the local paper, strike-up a passionate conversation about saving the gila river (new mexico's last wild river!) with anyone you pass on the street, shop at your local coop, realize that there are more people living off-the-grid than on it here, get invited to enjoy private hot-springs communities, see dogs at the bar or coffee shop, admire other's prayer flags on front porches, hang your laundry to dry in your back-yard, tell stories of the "monsoon season", and remind yourself that it probably won't rain for three more months. 

view of silver city, nm from gomez peak

an environmental calling card: the choya cactus

here, in silver city, i have so much to learn still, as i have only been here for three days now. but magically, in this short period of time, i have felt more love and kindness from the community here than anywhere i have ever been. for me, the pleasant welcome that i have received from silver city thus far has given me the awareness that i am exactly where i need to be in this world... and even if it is only for a short-time (i already feel a year will be over before i know it), my instincts tell me it is going to be a good time. there are so many opportunities for me to extend myself into the community, learn from the way of life offered here, and appreciate the fullness and richness of the simplest and smallest everyday things. 

as much as i have wandered over the years, i have suddenly have seen my own shadow here in the high-desert sun--i have caught up with my own self, and just like in "peter pan" when peter catches his own shadow and runs into never-never-land, i have yet to discover where this adventure in my own version of 'never-never land' will take me. 

life is just too awesome and weird to tell. 

the art of craigslisting

i owe most of my life to craigslist.

as i travel from here to there craigslist has been a necessary tool in fulfilling my immediate needs. 

just got into town and have no place to live? apartments to rent.

need to find a roommate? rooms and shares. 

need furniture? furniture sales.

need a truck to get your new furniture home? services.

need a bike? bicycle sales. 

need new bike parts? same. 

need a ski rental? vacations listings.

need ski equipment? sporting sales. 

need a job? job listings.

everything on this list i have successfully found via craigslist. subsequently, i have sold most of what i have acquired via craigslist full-circle on craigslist. 

i really don't know how i would get on with my life without craigslist. 

most of my friends seem to be pretty amazed at my suave bartering skills on craigslist. to me its not that i am talented, or brave, or even smart. as much as i would like to take their credit, i just have to be honest: desperation is key to craigslisting. 

you must be willing to put yourself out there, willing to get a bunch of crap in your email inbox, and reversely, put a lot of emails out there that will never be returned. you must be willing to drive out of your way for perfect strangers. you must bring cash. you must bring pepper spray and/or a friend to a transaction. you must not be disappointed if you don't get what you bargained for. you must be willing to learn someone's abridged life story over a handshake and deal in a grocery store parking lot. you must be willing to give your semi-true life story in a grocery store parking lot.

in the end, you must be willing to be a real person, meet real people, and talk about real things with real money. i appreciate the vague honesty that craigslist brings to the marketplace. the sense of personal trust, nary even a feeling of appreciation and gratitude for a good cut on a deal. 

craigslist is like a warm hug from the universe, giving you a supportive slap on the back that says: "YES! you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps in this world!"

and, my friends, what could be better than that? as desperate as i am, craigslist both feeds and staves my hunger for "things"; while all the while reminding me that indeed, they are just things... things that have negotiable prices, flawed histories, quirky owners... and nothing more, nor nothing less. 

and so as i get ready to hit the road i get to brag about my best craigslist score yet: 

i needed a car--and i got one.

 i am now the proud owner of a 2000 subaru forester. and yes, i am joining the official car of the west club. i am even considering rewarding myself with some new mexico plates... because i have to be honest here, i don't plan on coming back east this time!

how pretty! and its the centinnial! how cool!

ramblin' on

how to get from here to there?

a dreamy perspective of what lies ahead...

i am trying to plan my trip out west. i even went ahead and calculated about how much i would spend on a 2,300 mile trip across the country (about $300). now i just need to find places to stay along the way... the timeline is set, i have at most 7 days to make the voyage, which should be more than enough time to enjoy friends along the way. i am thinking i am good for 8-10 hours of driving max a day. i wish i were a super human and could make the trip to denver non-stop. denver is an ideal place for a stop due to the large amount of friends and family there... although the prospect of fitting mardi gras in new orleans into the trip is weighing heavily on my conscience.

decisions, decisions. maybe some of my followers that know me best (yay friends and family) can weigh in to my decision making process. lord knows i need help.

option 1) virginia--> denver, colorado --> albuquerque, new mexico. stops in louisville, ky; kansas city, missori /or st. louis, illinois; and straight-on til denver... take it easy in the mile high for a few days, then head down south to albuquerque, nm.   http://g.co/maps/s3x5w

option 2) virginia --> new orleans, louisiana --> austin, texas --> alburquerque, new mexico. stops in knoxville, tennessee; new orleans, louisiana (mardi gras!); austin, texas (awesomeness); sante fe, nm; and albuquerque, nm. http://g.co/maps/knr5k

option 3) virginia --> chicago, illinios --> denver, colorado --> albuquerque, new mexico. stops in harrisburg, pa; chicago, illinois (never been); des moines, iowa (yay friends!); denver, colorado (home away from home); and later onto albuquerque... http://g.co/maps/cn7z2

tribute to colorado

colorado...

crested butte, co: a land of love & light

not a day goes by when i don't think of exactly what i would be doing if i were there right now.

8:02pm. finishing a glass of wine with a roomate, talking of travel, love, and only the deepest things that move and shake this world. in less than an hour i'd likely be gearing up for a night bike-ride to find some trouble and or tunes at a local dive bar...

but alas, this post is not about me, but its about the place that i love. today i stumbled upon a few songs that put the namesake of colorado to a beat, and bring to life the memories and lust that linger in the mountains' shadows of the sunshine state.

enjoy!

we are trees - colorado

grizzly bear - colorado

adventurer at heart

there is this thing called planning... some people do it to make themselves feel more self-confident, assured, safe. i have no idea what this is all about. things related to personal security i only know the meaning of once i have pushed myself to the brink of my limits, maybe even beyond its limits... and then had the courage to accept the lessons such life-threatening experiences offer.

one of my first of such life-threatening/enhancing experiences was when i lived in france: i slept in a phone booth once because my friend and i did not have enough money for a hotel room. we called my parents from that phone booth to let them know 'things were alright'. lessons learned: do not sleep in phone-booths, they are terribly cramped, and offer little safety, especially if the phone booth is riddled with bullet-holes; and never call your parents from the phone booth you are sleeping in.

the hangover after a night in a french phonebooth

 another example: one time my friend and i decided to go to yellowstone national park after a night of whimsical thoughts brought on by too much whiskey. the next day, i spent packing and 'planning' our trip... i should have known better. every plan i made soon backfired, from my pre-set ipod playlists (the car's ipod hitch was screwy), to our campsites (all the campsites were full). even my bugspray backfired on me, it turns out yellowstone mosquitoes are actually mini blood-sucking dinosaurs that are hardly fooled by burt's bees recipe for bug repellent. of course, because luck would have it no other way, the only available campsite was one that was half-way submerged in water due to the summer's heavy snow melts, that was also home to the velotser raptor breed of mosquitos. even with sweatpants, wool ski socks, hiking boots, monkey fur, gloves, and a wool cap on (in 70 degree weather), the little monsters were STILL able to bite me! at night, my friend (who survived a terrible case of dinge fever while in africa) would do mosquito raids, spending 30 minutes searching our 12 square feet of tent space for each and every trace of bug, squishing each one as violently as possible, with a screams of joy. lessons learned: book your summer trip to yellowstone more than 1 day in advance, do not try to go on a 10+ hour roadtrip without an ipod, and burt's bees bug-repellent is not adequate for the sub-species of reptilian mosquitoes that inhabit yellowstone.

the view of the tetons from our first campsite

i think a safe conclusion here is that although i do learn from my mistakes, i am still irrepressibly impulsive, and increasingly impatient with things like timing, preparation, and general foresight.

i was recently reminded of my impulsive and irresponsible nature just yesterday, when i woke up with the urge to climb a mountain. this is really nothing new to me, but the urge i felt yesterday came to me as low, gray clouds and freezing temperatures brought the western virginia her first snowstorm. i am blaming colorado for these sudden outbreaks of snow-fever... only the rockies could be the source of my deep desire to run, ski, and climb mountains at the first sight of snow. so i called up my brother at 9am: "do you want to go hiking?" luckily, he was still asleep, and had not looked out his window yet. "sure!" was his response at the time, but as we were packing up to leave, i could tell he had no idea what he was in for. i actually had no idea either... but we sure found out quickly what an adventure was to be had!

first things first: when you leave on a trip, where is the first place you should go? answer: a gas station. where was the first place i went? starbucks. where were we 30 miles after starbucks? in the middle of nowhere with no gas. we only passed 3 gas stations on our way to the trail at white oak canyon... but alas, we arrived in syria, va with the needle resting just two-hairs above empty. i knew we had to get gas, or else we would only be further in the wilderness without any options. so on to madison we went... or i should say, up to madison we went. the '96 jeep cherokee country lurched up the mountain for 11 miles, until the needle sagged desperately below empty. i began to pray to god that this was not the end of us... i made my brother recite 'hail marys' all the way up the hill... we eventually (16 miles later) made it to the nearest gas station, on the wrong side of town. here is a map of exactly how far out of the way we went... given to me somewhat spitefully by my brother: http://g.co/maps/hzgzj (notice how he had to check "avoid hiways"). while allowing the jeep to gobble up $50 of my wallet, we took a deep sigh of relief, and i admitted to my brother that i could be the worst trip planner ever, and that we had lost all control of the situation. i also admitted that i had forgotten to bring any directions and we would just have to go on my 'instinct' sense to get back to white oak canyon...

it wasn't until mid-afternoon we made it to the trail. at that point, we had seen the morning's snow melt into dismal sleet, and the once white roads turn black again. then, suddenly, as if a sign from above, the sky began to sprinkle down white snowflakes, quickly amounting to billowing winds that frantically blanketed the fields around us with white again. just as we passed the first, last, and only sign to white oak canyon, a fluffy-tailed red fox gallantly hopped by us in one of the snowy fields, as if to say: "you have arrived, the fun is here!"

we pulled into an already softly blanketed parking lot, and parked next to the only other car there. the cold wind welcomed us to one of the most perfect scenes on earth: snow falling gently in a forest, accompanied by the mellifluous crackling of ice cold streams cutting through the mountain's wilderness. we hiked up the mountain in solitude, enjoying the peace and joy of each moment. the cedar run trail we took led us up 3 miles of crooked, rocky, and steep mountainside, with the trail weaving across the stream throughout the hike. lovely waterfalls surprised us at every turn, and as we hiked, the snow became deeper and deeper. the mountain's clouds lifted on the way down, revealing craggy rock faces that were hidden before. every step was a wonderful surprise, up until the very last, when we reached the top of the trail, and i snuck up on a little bobcat stalking a bird! i didn't see the cat, just heard it jump out from under me... apparently neither he nor me were minding each other any attention! i took our run in with wildlife as a good sign it was time to head back down...

snow falling in the woods along the cedar run trail

on our way home, dusk soon enveloped the countryside in a gray-blue shade, highlighting the warm golden glow of farmhouses along the roadside. driving back the way we came, i realized that although i did an absolutely terrible job planning the day, that there was a inherent perfection to the day that i could not even begin to take credit for. the lesson i learned from our trip to white oak canyon was that there are some moments in life that are too perfect, too beautiful, and simply too infinite for us to begin to understand, let alone plan for. surely there is no better 'plan' for such occasions, than to dive deep into nature.

my life partner & adventurer paula and i, with our life motto

aardvark!

inspiration... via the south coast of england. check out the amazingly unique tea and gallery shop at their website, www.aardvarkonsea.com!

the aardvark manifesto! 

truest advice.

<3

my daily mantra.

my life plan!